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Touchie-Feelie

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  I started to read about emotional intelligence and some of the mindfulness exercises used in therapy, like putting people in a kind of meditative state and asking them to detect an emotion and then to describe it. It all sounded very touchie-feelie to me, but then suddenly I saw a reference to therapeutic hugging, and I read a Psychology Today article on the subject at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/202012/the-healing-power-hugs I remembered your many references to hugging and wanting to hug your kids and friends, so I thought you might be interested. I grew up in a very non-hugging family, so when I read about Henry Harlow and his experiments with monkeys with wire mothers versus monkeys with real mothers, I related to the poor kids with the wire-mothers – WAAH!  But I also thought-flashed on an experience I had more recently, only 40 years ago, when I was finishing my first degree at Illinois State. During that time I wanted some kind of spiritual solac
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Keeping It Clean!

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I was next door at my neighbor Bigfoot Jerry’s to help him hook up a TV in his bedroom. I calls him Bigfoot because he's got these really big animal slippers. Amazingly I fixed up the TV correctly, and then I admired the king-size bed he had. He said he got the bed for $214 brand new and he got it from a place down the street where he saw two gay guys (other customers) kissing each other. Now, Jerry is black and he’s not gay, so I said, “Is that against your beliefs?” He said no, but apropos of nothing he said Obama was the one who legalized gay marriage, sort of implying that Obama's action was to blame for a number of things that had taken the nation on a downhill ride. I wasn’t sure that Obama did that (I found out later it was the Supreme Court, but Obama praised the decision). I bet a lot of people think Obama did it. Then Jerry says, “You know there were gay presidents!” but I think he might have gotten Pete Buttigieg mixed up in there. I said, “Maybe you’re thinking of
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.45 and a Pump Shotgun

BNormal, Illinois May 1, 2020 I met a cool guy named Caesar at the bus stop, and he told me about his workouts and other activity. I have been talking with a bunch of black people who have moved from Chicago to Bloomington, and that’s what this guy did: He said he moved here because he was afraid for his kids getting harmed in the neighborhood where they lived. He had a .45 and a pump shotgun for security from the gang activity a block away, and he was a peaceful man except when it came to his kids – then he was a warrior! What a cool guy! He said he’s not a real big weight lifter so much as he uses weights as part of his workout, and he also walks everywhere and rides his bike and sometimes the bus. I asked how old he was, and he said, “I will be 70 in November, the Lord willing!” I asked if he was disabled in any way and he said no, but he * has * smoked since he was thirteen. I thought about saying, “Well, you oughta quit right now,” but I said, “Well, you’re not dead yet,” and w
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Different Behaviors and Different Flavors in the Time of Corona

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BNormal, Illinois May 1, 2020 The other day I was admiring some flowers just north of a busy intersection when there was a big CRASH! behind me and I looked to see the aftermath of a collision between a new-looking big black SUV and a small definitely used white car. The small car continued across the intersection and pulled over, while the black car backed up over its own almost-torn-off bumper and turned to pull over near the other car. I saw a youngish gal get out of the SUV and immediately look under her car to find where the bumper went. I thought it might have been of more immediate concern to see if the driver of the other vehicle was O.K. before figuring out where the bumper got to, but I was probably already judging and assigning blame, although I didn't witness the crash. An older guy, about my age (68) got out of the small car and I immediately felt for him. For all I know, the guy had been whacked out of his gourd on medical marijuana and just ran thr
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Riding the Covid-19

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BNormal, Illinois April 28, 2020   I just got back from Kroger’s after I first walked downtown to drop off recycling, and then turned around to go north past the dollar store to Kroger’s. I had a little adventure when I stopped at a point more than hallway back to wait for the bus because I was tired: A little but muscular black guy in a tank top and a pork pie hat, to whom I have given a little money in the past, was talking nonstop to a nice plain young black woman, and she really didn’t pay much attention to him because he was just an old guy, blabbering and jabbering. He is in good shape, though. He was talking and talking and dancing around a little. I’m sure he does very little work but is just so charming and funny that he gets along and gets by and enjoys life. I had a red bandanna  on my face because I put it on to go into Walgreen’s to see if they had any fresh flowers, but they didn’t. However, I had stopped to take a picture of some really nice tulips among some
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Corona Easter

BNormal, Illinois April 12, 2020 After a few weeks of sheltering in place and having no incentive to work on academic manuscripts, all I wanted to do was stay at home and work on manuscripts so as to catch up on everything I missed. However, my sister and I, who are siblings and thus have complete immunity to each other’s cooties, had planned on a traditional Easter dinner, so traditional Easter dinner it was. At first things were a bit edgy because Peggy was very much out of sorts since she hadn’t been able to teach her music and band classes for middle-school kids. But then we got to opening the wine prior to dinner, and somehow that made the cheese and crackers a mighty fine experience. By the time we were into the second bottle, I stopped worrying about the manuscript and enjoyed dinner, and then we got to playing music and asking Alexa for more Apple Music of our choice. I asked for The Spinners’ “Working My Way Back to You, Babe” and things became downright marvel
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Before you 'cuse me

BNormal, IL April 2, 2020 From Benjamin J. Gonzales on Facebook, as forwarded by my niece, who is stuck at a hotel/motel she manages: Hey friends... I've seen a number of people saying that those who are defying stay at home orders, being stupid and going to massive prayer services, etc deserve to get ill or die. I'm not going to have any of that. I'm a firm believer in the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Are they being shitty? Yup. Do they deserve to die? No. Let's take this as an opportunity to reflect on why we are social distancing, why we are trying to reshape that curve... to save more lives, not to decide who deserves to die and who doesn't. Let's hope that as many lives as possible be spared. That person you think deserves to die is someone's parent, or sibling, or child, they aren't just a faceless number or statistic. Let's hope, together, work, together, to help spread messages of truth
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