The Low IQs
March 5, 2020
The Downtowner Basement
There’s a gal named Angie, who
volunteers at the Miller Park Zoo during the day and whose husband, Dan, has a
full-time job sweeping floors and such at Eastland Mall. Dan and I rode the bus
back home the other day and talked a lot. Then I met their really big low-IQ
daughter, Amanda, and her husband, Gerald, last night and we all talked about
seizures and tumors and downright bizarre operations, such as to remove
dangerous pus pockets right up against a spinal chord. Amanda and Gerald have
each other’s names tattooed on their bodies, and the family members have
auxiliary names for each other too: Gerald is Yogi, Amada is Boo Boo, Dan is
The Ranger, and Angie (Mrs. Dan) is Mrs. Somebody Else from the show, though I
don’t remember another character. We also talked about the best way to cook
chicken wings and whether chicken cooked at 425° for an hour is really done. (I
said YES.)
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