How tall and/or short are you, girl?


I just got back from a bus ride to Wally World, where I had an appt with my favorite stylist, Angie, but she called in sick apparently at the last minute, so I got a cut from this dopey girl named Lindy. She spent a max of 15  minutes on me, whereas Angie would spend a half an hour, and she appeared to do a really bad job. She started off by telling me that some Spanish guy had complained about the haircut she gave his kid – “complained to Corporate” – so that was reassuring – NOT – and then she just chopped off half my hair and sorta went “Whoops” and I said that’s fine, finish it off because I was afraid she would make it worse with every step and then when I just now looked in the mirror, I could see the pink skin under the hair where she cut it so close! Holy cow and double sheesh! I just assumed they all could cut hair there because both Angie and another gal did a great job but No-o-o.

There was also kind of a comical scene when I was sitting back in the chair at first and this short stylist – maybe the one who had done a good job before – shot out in front of me while I was raising my hand to brush back my hair, and my hand almost went right up her butt! I kid you not! I said “Oh, I’m sorry!” Then, after the crazy haircut, I went shopping and I went down the chips aisle and I reached for some chips right when a *tall* girl grabbed a bag of chips and pulled it right over my head and just barely missed me. It was such a close call that I stopped and said, “How tall are you anyway?” She said 5’ 10” and I said, “I’m 5’ 7” or maybe less now.” She said, “Sometimes it has been a bummer,” and I said, “You mean, in getting a date?” And she looked at me like maybe I was trying to pick her up, and she said, “Yes – but fortunately I found a nice guy, my *husband.*” It was pretty funny – the whole sequence of events, from the short girl whose butt I almost stuck my hand up to the tall girl who swiped the bag of chips right over my head and then thought I was trying to pick her up. I never did get a decent haircut, but this story makes it all worth while.

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